short storys of leonard

As a celebration for my first post and for Derek Landy's visit to Manchester I give you all:

Solomon Wreaths Last Stand

Solomon Wreaths cane came crashing into the face of the guy dressed as Mr Blobby. All the toddlers screamed as he hit the floor. All Solomon wanted was for all the people to get out of the mall. A swarm of vampires were outside and his barricade wouldn’t hold for long. Why hold a kids party at nine o’clock in the afternoon? Crazy people. “What the hell do you think you’re doing you-?” Screeched Mr Blobby. The parents gasped as he cursed. “Listen I work with the police.” Said Wreath. Of course he had to lie, these were mortals. A huge crash came from the entrance. He cursed and the parents began to cover up their children’s ears. He started to walk over to the door when Mr Blobby jumped on him. “Get off me you fool. You’re going to kill us all.”

“What are you going on about?” They were fighting now and in the scramble Mr Blobby’s head fell off. All the kids screamed, some cried and one even fainted. The headless Mr Blobby was now attacked by most of the conscious children. Solomon went to the door to find Skulduggery Pleasant sat on a self-service till. “What did you say this time Wreath?”

“I went into a bar and started a fight.”

“You didn’t notice that it was a vampire bar then.”

“Nope.”

“What really happened?”

“Fine, I was having fun until it got to the part of the night where we had to transform. They were those rebel vampires who hunt and drink whiskey. It’s not a lie I saw one of them drinking whiskey.”

“Got a new friend then?”

“You’ve dealt with this before then, a vampire rebel.”

“Oh yes.”

“What experience do you have?”

“My partner once dated a vampire, and I’ve read Twilight.”

“Fabulous.” The door burst open and the first vampire came in. “Where is the necromancer low life?”

“Right here.” Skulduggery Shouted. The other vampires came in; all sixteen laughed at the same time and began to rip their skin off. Mr Blobby had escaped the unhappy party and wobbled over. He froze as he saw the vampires ripping off sheets of flesh. “Who are you people?” He asked, three of the now completely white things ran to him. He didn’t even have time to scream as he was ripped apart. Parts of his costume flew in the air hitting other vampires meanwhile; the two mages were fighting more vampires. Wreath sent some sharpened shadows to one but it did nothing. Skulduggery pulled some things from his jacket. It was a syringe filled with a watery substance. He threw it at one of the vampires and it fell to the ground. Then the door opened again.

“Oh for god’s sake, not more stupid vampires.” Wreath moaned.

Valkyrie Cain and Fletcher Renn were stood in the doorway. “Hey, come and get it.” The vampires sprinted to her like it was a race to see who could get to her first. They teleported away and the vampires saw them a few kilometres away. They kept on doing this until they came to the pier. It took a long time but they made it. Both of them dived in and the vampires hesitated until Fletcher took out a knife under the water and cut himself with it. Air stampeded out of his mouth as he had cut too far. He floated to the top and breathed in. They all jumped in snarling. Suddenly Fletcher realised why this was a bad idea. It took five minutes of swimming until all fifteen vampires were gone. Back at the mall skulduggery was pointing his gun at the direction of a giant teddy. Behind that teddy were Solomon Wreath, and his vampire friend. The vampire was holding Wreath by the jaw. “Let him go.” Skulduggery told him. “I don’t think so detective this necromancer came into the wrong gangsters bar. Now he dies.” He tightened his grip on Wreaths jaw till he crushed it. The body fell to the floor like a rag doll. Valkyrie screamed and charged at the vampire. She was on top of him now and her ring was ready to slice.

“Oh you don’t want to do that. My boss will not like that.”

“I don’t care about your pansy of a boss.” Her necromancy smashed right through his skull and crushed his brain.

“What was all that about?” Asked Fletcher.

“I don’t know.” Said Valkyrie as she studied the exquisite corpse.

“The race to the god-killer.” A dark figure was stood up on the top of Mr Blobby’s stage. All the kids had gone through the back way because of Skulduggery. Tanith jumped down from the stage and joined them. “You.” Valkyrie stared at her with angry and sad eyes. “What’s this god-killer thing?” Fletcher said; he looked very puzzled. “The god-killer is a weapon that can destroy a god. A god like Darquesse.”

“What do you want with a weapon like that?”

“To destroy it of course. Those mad vampires wanted it to take over the world. You saved me a lot of killing.”

“So how do you plan to destroy it?”

“That is for me to know and me only.” She winked as Sanguine’s hand grabbed her leg and pulled her through the ground. They all walked to the door with Wreath on Skulduggery’s back. Fletcher stumbled over the remains of Mr Blobby and went back to Australia with a sore nose. They both walked to the Bentley. Skulduggery dropped Wreath. On the side of his car was a rude message signed by someone called Danny. The permanent crimson letters mocked Skuldugger with such audacity. He threw Wreath in the back of the car and drove of very angrily. “So what do we do now?” Asked Valkyrie. “Now; we go and find Danny.” His façade looked thirsty for vengeance as they drove off into the sun set.

short storys of leonard

Monday 16 September 2013

Halloween

Sunday 15 September 2013

Coming Soon

The Grecians

Saturday 14 September 2013